Most people are weak, not stubborn and not persistent enough, often give in to difficulties and deprive themselves of the opportunity to achieve more in their lives. Perseverance and perseverance in achieving the goal.
Perseverance and perseverance - these are very important and very strong-willed personal qualities that help a person achieve his goals, success and win. However, most people are not stubborn and not persistent enough, often give in to difficulties and thereby deprive themselves of the opportunity to achieve more in their lives.
People who do not know how to persevere often give up early, retreat and lose, instead of going to the end and achieving the desired results. Therefore, perseverance and perseverance must be developed, these qualities should be in every self-respecting person.
What is perseverance and perseverance?
Perseverance is a person’s ability to achieve specific goals, despite all kinds of obstacles and setbacks. Persistent people are stress-resistant, they are able to show decisive character, especially in situations of the upcoming choice, when solving the tasks currently facing them.
It is important not to confuse persistence with obstinacy. Stubbornness does not allow a person to be flexible in solving one or another of the difficulties facing him, stubbornness contributes to the same mistakes, while perseverance and perseverance forces a person to look for an opportunity to circumvent all obstacles.
Thus, a stubborn person makes strong-willed efforts and overcomes the difficulties encountered in order to realize a specific and close goal that is important to him. Thanks to perseverance, a person makes one attempt after another, tries again and again, time after time to do what he needs, but at the same time takes into account all his past mistakes and failures, remains flexible in overcoming difficulties.
Persistence is a personality trait that allows a person to pursue long-term, long-term goals, to achieve which it is necessary to make great efforts and patience for failures. Perseverance comes from the words - "insist."
Persistence of personality is manifested in the ability to overcome life obstacles for a long time. A persistent person without a doubt and hesitation goes to the intended goal and does not abandon it because of various difficulties that may arise in its path.
Unlike perseverance, perseverance requires a person to systematically display willpower to achieve a goal remote in time. A stubborn person to achieve close goals goes to a larger goal, thus persevere.
The development of courage. How to show courage?
Without perseverance and perseverance, it is difficult to succeed in life. Without perseverance and perseverance, it is impossible to form a strong unbending character, and it is absolutely impossible to become a winner.
After all, life consists of a huge number of problems, failures and mistakes that absolutely every person constantly encounters. And if we do not learn to be stubborn and persistent enough, we will not be able to cope, even with minor problems, not to mention the achievement of certain goals.
How to persevere?
It is very important to be active.
Only give our body the opportunity to relax and then he will in every way convince us not to disturb him. We get used to the good too quickly, and we always need to know the measure in everything. In this sense, Monday is not a hard day, just Sunday is too relaxing for us.
To be persistent, one must be able to relate to criticism correctly.
If you are unable to get rid of the negative environment, then try to benefit from each criticism. If such an opportunity is not found, then learn to ignore such statements and people who are trying to undermine your faith in yourself. Let it be your little goal, to achieve which you can be persistent
It is important not to back down and not give up under any circumstances, even if sometimes your tenacity and perseverance will be like stubbornness, which implies a person committing the same unsuccessful actions. The main thing is that you yourself feel like a strong, unbending person who cannot be broken morally. Try to always bring all the things you have started to the end, so as to prove to yourself that you have a fighting character, that you are a strong personality, so that you can fight as much as you have the strength.
Building perseverance towards the goal
1. Perseverance always goes hand in hand with determination
Therefore, learn to set the right goals. Many people make a big mistake by setting too many goals or too unrealistic goals. If we set too many goals, then this reduces the likelihood that we will achieve each of them individually. After all, our forces, our time and in general our resources are not unlimited. Subsequently, each such failure to achieve a particular goal will hurt by pride, by volitional qualities, and by the persistence in the implementation of subsequent goals.
It is necessary to determine the truly desired goal so that the forward movement does not stop and nothing prevents us from perseverance. The goal must be as clear as possible. Your goal must be concrete and real. Do not plan to move the moon from its orbit. All that is required to be persistent is to draw up a plan of action so as to use a variety of ways to achieve the goal.
2. Take your time in setting goals
Set a small goal to begin with and achieve it. Next time, set a bigger goal and reach it again. And thus, perseverance can be developed to incredible heights. For example, you are constantly late for work - set a goal to arrive on time 5 days in a row. Then when you reach this goal, set yourself a more complex goal - to be a punctual month. And so on. The same technique is applicable to achieve any goal.
The main reason why the majority cannot develop perseverance in themselves is that many people run away from their problems or put them off for later, not solving, but simply discussing the problem itself. Take action, not reflect on the problem and difficulties.
The best method for building perseverance is to learn how to make decisions without putting them off the bat. Make decisions quickly, but hurry to change them, as someone who often changes their minds or doubts is simply not confident. If you have made a decision and know that you need it, give yourself a word that do not change your decision in the near future.
3. Forgive yourself momentary weaknesses, but draw conclusions from this
Of course, it happens that there come periods of weakness, bad mood, apathy, or even cowardice, when you do not want to do anything, and the work becomes just a torment. If you break down, this does not mean that then you will not be able to get together again and tune in to achieve the goal. While doing something else, get distracted, gain strength for subsequent perseverance in achieving the goal.
4. Be sure to believe in yourself.
The formation of perseverance is impossible without self-confidence, without faith in achieving your results and your victories.
Why do you need to respond to rudeness, and not be silent?
Psychologists have found that every aggressive act from the side generates in a normal person auto-aggression, eventually resulting in a depressed mood, decreased performance, lowered self-esteem, etc. Such an organism reaction does not bring anything good with it, and, therefore, it is necessary to learn how to effectively protect against manifestations of alien aggression and the correct reaction to it.
Reasons for rude behavior
One of the most common causes of gross attacks on a person is his underdeveloped psychological strength. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and confident individuals. Boors and rude people are distinguished by a rather well-developed instinct and will never begin to get involved with someone who can give them a decent answer.
If in front of them is a person from another category, then why not amuse yourself and tell him something rude. Most often, the following types of people fall into the number of offended:
- highly cultured and educated in the old traditions,
- low self-esteem
- trying to avoid conflict situations
- with high guilt
- Fearing to hurt and offend other people.
In this situation, the reaction to rudeness can be different, but you should first work on your own self-esteem and confidence so as not to be a constant victim of poorly educated citizens. Gaining internal strength will forever save you from outside aggression, because a strong person cannot be an object of attack.
When confronted with potential offenders, one should never show them their confusion. Express your thoughts clearly and firmly, and do not utter any words in your defense and defense. The intonation of the voice should be as calm and relaxed as possible, since it is she who will most quickly knock the boor out of her rut. With his attacks, he wants to get his victim out of himself in order to get recharged with a portion of negative energy. There is no need to bring such a joy to a rude person.
For example, to the angry words of an annoyed conductor about her lack of a large bill, you need to calmly ask her again to repeat her speech, and then politely but persistently ask her to solve this problem.
Method "Psychological Aikido"
The application of this protective technique is based on the use of negative energy of a rude against himself. The opponent needs to agree with critical remarks against him, confusing and absurd communication. You can even praise the enemy for timely and useful criticism. Mastering the method requires some practice and breaking existing behavioral patterns.
As a good example, the following dialog can be given:
Grubiyan: “Where are you going! Have you no eyes ?! You don’t see, it’s the turn here! ”
Opponent: “But I really don’t have eyes, and you are so attentive, you immediately noticed it and pointed out my mistake.”
Grubiyan: “We all stand, but why are you climbing forward ?!”
Opponent: “Well, yes, everyone is standing, but I’m climbing, I’ve found the smartest here” ... and further in this style.
As a rule, two or three mutual skirmishes are enough to psychologically disorient the enemy. In addition, the people around you can seriously help you, appreciating all the absurdity and comic nature of the situation. Ham will have to retreat in his intentions, and he is unlikely to continue.
Intending to pronounce something bad, the person strains and tries to take air into the respiratory tract. If you try to make him laugh at this time, he will relax, and the first impulse of anger will pass. You can also smile and give compliments to your opponent.
For example, a secretary, entering the director’s office, accidentally trips and falls, overturning cups from a tray. Looking at the chief’s angry face, the woman tells him that he is simply stunning, hinting at the reason for the fall. Such a joke causes laughter among those present and the director’s smile, instead of the expected spacing.
In some situations, you can pacify the boor by simply calling him in public who he really is. In particular, you can directly say: “You are rude”, but you can navigate the situation and connect your own imagination and fantasy.
For example, you can complain about the rudeness addressed in response to your forgetfulness, which, unfortunately, has not been invented yet.
It is an effective response when the boorish monologue threatens to drag on for a long time. If your opponent is becoming increasingly hot and cannot stop, you need to help him in this. For the time being, listen to time silently, until the boor imagines himself a complete master of the situation. Then deliberately sneeze loudly, and in a moment of silence, say that you have an allergic reaction to different nonsense. Next, politely ask the opponent to continue their speech.
In response to offensive comments, you can also use these phrases:
"You, by chance, did not make a slip?"
"Believe me, rudeness is completely in your face"
“Why are you striving to look worse than you really are?”
“I don’t have time to understand your complexes”, etc.
Another reason for rudeness is people who simply cannot live without it. They deliberately chose a similar style of communication with others and feel quite comfortable. In response to such patterns of behavior, the following techniques will be effective.
Method “Persistent politeness and unlimited patience”
The main rule when dealing with a chronic snapper will be absolute courtesy and tolerance. The main thing is not to break in response to boorish antics and not to succumb to provocations, becoming only a slave. It must be remembered that the main goal of the boor is to provoke a response in the opponent, whereas, without receiving it, he loses fuel for further actions. A smile and outward goodwill are so unusual for him that they can completely unsettle him.
Such a scenario is completely untypical for a person accustomed to being rude, so a polite opponent has the opportunity to take matters into their own hands. If the enemy has a serious fixation on the negative, you can also try to communicate politely, but pronounce the words more loudly than usual. Such a non-standard trick can make him fall silent.
The behavior of the parties can be illustrated by the following example:
Saleswoman: “Woman, for a long time you will still be considering everything here ?! Buy or not? ”
Buyer: "Please, show me that blouse."
Saleswoman: “As much as you can! Am I here, errand girl ?! ”
Buyer (politely, but much louder): "Please, show that blouse over there."
The Tediousness Method
It will come in handy for people working as administrators in various Internet projects. It is no secret that some users chronically neglect the established rules, and then bring down all their inadequacy to the administrators. When a person has no reasonable arguments, outright rudeness begins.
Of course, you can simply ban the obstinate user, or you can make a “dry” remark with the official language. Soon the interest of the belligerent enemy will cool off, and he will stop releasing steam. In practice, such communication may look like this:
Forum participant: “For what reason did I get a ban ?! What kind of arbitrariness! Do whatever comes into your head! ”
Forum administrator: “You have violated rule No. 2 of the internal regulation, from such and such a date. According to paragraph 3 of this rule, you are entitled to a ban for the next three weeks. ”
Forum participant: “I had no violations, these are all your inventions. My photos are the coolest, but you don’t know anything about it! ”
Forum Administrator: "For insulting remarks addressed to the administration, the ban will be extended for another 10 days."
To break the stereotypical behavior of the boor, you can try to break his familiar pattern by shocking. To do this, in response to a rude remark, you need to answer something that is completely irrelevant, thereby confusing the enemy. For example, the rudeness of the seller, you can ask what account ended yesterday's football match.
In addition to the methods described above for a worthy answer to the rude, you can prepare the following phrases:
"Sorry, but you are far from original."
“Well, here it all started so well”
“Something I didn’t want to continue our further communication”
"It is a pity that I did not hear anything original from you"
“Not too witty, but there is something to strive for”
"Estimated the depth of your mental abilities", etc.
Another reason for rudeness is the fear of the offender before the opponent. In this situation, he seeks to attack first, masking his insecurity, cowardice and envy of more successful people. Rudeness, in this case, serves only as a kind of disguise and cover.
Hedgehog Care Method
Imagine a hedgehog that has spiky needles, but at the same time is just a small, scared animal. Associate with your abuser, taking a condescending and protective attitude towards him. In addition, in this situation, the above described methods of "Calm" and "Psychological Aikido." Of the additional phrases you can take into service the following:
“You will still succeed.”
"What else do you have in your soul?"
“Do you want to offend me? What for?"
“Rudeness does not suit anyone, and even more so for you”
“Thank you for your close attention to my person”, etc.
Данный способ психологической защиты является универсальным для всех причин внешней агрессии. Иногда молчание, действительно, золото. Especially, this applies to situations where you do not need to communicate with the offender, or you feel that you are emotionally unprepared for a fight with him, as well as in those cases when a clearly mentally unhealthy person is in front of you.
Ignoring very effectively helps against any kind of rudeness, if implemented correctly. In particular, you do not need to show any emotions so that the offender does not suddenly think that you are silently swallowing the offense, and he will become more and more heated. Everything should look as if there is an empty place in front of you, and you, such a successful and lucky person, have absolutely no time to pay attention to any annoying hindrances and trifles.
Download and print this file below to remember these 10 methods for responding to rudeness.