Useful Tips

I am crazy! Psychologist's notes to parents and children


Falling in love in adulthood is not at all serene, because we bring our past with us to any new relationship. Not everyone is ready to build a family with a person who already has children - this is a difficult decision that cannot be taken lightly. Communicating with other people's children can be difficult, especially if you did not have your own, and can fill your life with love and joy. This article will tell you what to think about before you say “I agree” to a person who already has children.

Marrying a man with a child - strategy and mistakes

Every woman dreams of a prince on a white horse with an amazing character and a beautiful soul. But what if such an ideal man has a child? And even a couple? How to be in this situation?

Children are the flowers of life, our hope of immortality. Children are always happiness, and the children of a loved one and dear to you, with your correct behavior - can become family for you too.

The main mistake of the future stepmother

The main mistake that women make in such a situation is that they do not accept the husband’s child, reduce the communication of the father and his child to a minimum or even completely, categorically forbid dating.

Dear ladies, a man always loves his children, even if he does not realize this. And if you look negatively at your spouse’s son or daughter, then he subconsciously arises a sense of security and protection of their offspring.

In this case, he will try to protect his child from negative influence from you. Moreover, the man begins to seem that you do not love not only his child, but also himself. Such a relationship cannot be happy and doomed to breakup.

What to do when a man has a child

Accept that your man has a child for granted. A child, even with an eerie character, needs love and care. Your relationship can become harmonious thanks to you. To do this, you do not need to buy a bunch of toys, as children appreciate not buying at all.

You should try to become a true friend for a small person.

  • Find out what your stepson or daughter of your father loves, for this you must first carefully listen and observe.
  • Spend your free time together, take a walk, cook your favorite baby dishes, learn and learn. By showing your positive attitude, you will not only win children's love, but also grow significantly in the eyes of your spouse and strengthen your family relationships!

Children feel when needed. Show your need for it to your child.

  • If this is a boy, ask him, for example, to hang a picture, hammer a nail or sharpen knives.
  • If the girl - offer her help in choosing an outfit for the evening, consult about cooking for dinner, tell her your "female" secret.

Of course, such an attitude will not leave anyone indifferent. Do not be afraid, you will not seem intrusive to children, even if you think so.

The gingerbread method is not the best strategy

Many women believe that the path to the heart of the child of a loved one lies through permissiveness, forgiveness and harmlessness. Absolutely not!

When the child notices that you are trying to please him in this way, you will inevitably suffer and, instead of the desired good relationship, get ridicule and disrespect! You need to know the measure and determine exactly what is possible and what is not possible in your family.

Even if the child comes only on the weekend, he must learn and follow the rules.

Also, when a child is with you and your spouse - it’s a big mistake to show obvious inequality in relation to someone else’s child. If you love, then the same. If you buy something - then to the same extent. Do not deprive someone else's child. Love and value as your own.

However, there is a chance to deviate in the other direction, which will also cause problems. Own child in your attempts to win the favor of the husband’s baby should not be jealous.

Relations between a man and a woman in the presence of a child

Relations between men and women are not easy at all. And especially when they are complicated by the presence of a child.

But in no case is it worth it to cause scandals and even more so break off relations. It may seem to a woman that when communicating with his child, the man with all his thoughts returns to the past family, has an emotional, and maybe not only, connection with the woman. You should not catch up on such thoughts.

In most cases, the former spouses after the divorce are not interested in anything but a child. Being jealous of your ex-wife is a dangerous mistake.

Remember, if a child is small, it is much easier to find contact with him than with a teenager.

But do not overdo it, becoming ideal. If the child loves you so much that he will constantly tell his mother about you and your common affairs, then your man’s former love will take retaliatory measures and will want to at least ruin your relationship. Why do you need this?

You can marry a man with a child, and subject to mutual love, you need to marry. Follow the advice and be happy in your new, happy and prosperous family! All the best to you!